Leaves are starting to turn red and yellow, the rain keeps pouring, and the air's gotten a lot colder since the last time i wrote here.
I wish my mind was as nice as the autumn-forest, but I keep getting this uneasy feeling in my gut. What really bothers me is work; I don't like my job, and just the thought of working makes me feel sick. The problem isn't the job in itself, more the environment at the office. It doesn't seem like the leaders are interested in co-operating with the employees at all, which affects everyone there. The atmosphere is somewhat tense and awkward, people are pissed off, but no-one cares to confront anyone to sort things out. I don't like being treated like a hired driver either; I'm there to clean, not to drive. Not always at least. I don't like pressure. And I'm afraid of doing something wrong. I think my main problem is that I take myself too seriously. I'm afraid. Afraid of making a fool of myself, afraid of showing that I'm human. But despite my fear I keep talking. About everything, too people I don't know; I keep telling them things I wasn't prepared to tell. In example, I keep telling the people I work with that I'm not used to driving, maybe even that I'm afraid. Because I want them to understand if I do something wrong. For some reason I want them to know that I'm nervous, even-though I try to hide it. It makes no sense. I make no sense.
But it's autumn! Yesterday, we stopped by a flea-market on our way to the forest! We ended up with a green sofa, quite old, very pretty, for 100nok. Amazing!
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